It's finally Saturday and its ok to be sick. I was sick the whole week too but I had to go to work because of my boss's deadlines. So weekdays, it's prohibited to be sick and by that it means I have to be OK by Monday. Shit na malagkit, I have to start getting better tomorrow! But its still saturday, albeit very late, so its still ok to be sick. I have to enjoy this before I HAVE TO BE ok na naman (which is not necessarily true, I just have to fake I'm ok para di ako masibak sa trabaho.) Nahawa ko na nga rin amo ko. Bumabahing na last friday...ahhh...sweet unintentional revenge. LOL!
So here I am...nakaratay sa kama... with like 38° of fever, a sore throat, bored and maybe a bit delirious.
Yes, delirious, because I'm sound trippin' good old Freddie Aguilar's songs while reading Jose Rizal's "Mi Ultimo Adios"... what the fuck! Sira yata 'tong thermometer ko...bakit 38° lang???! This should be 50° or something, seeing as how I am actually reading something like this. I even researched the different translations in other languages! And I don't even like Jose Rizal, for crying out loud!
Maiintindihan ko pa ang pagsa-sound trip ko kay Freddie, idol ko 'yun bata pa ko weh. I actually want the guy to sing sa formal wedding namin ni hubby ko. Kaso mukhang malabo 'yun. Mahal ata sumungil si Pareng Freddie. Nabasa ko dun sa isang blog na nasagasaan ko while researching on google how much would Freddie Aguilar's talent fee be...kinukuha ata siya sa New Zealand and Australia for a concert or something, but they backed out dahil sa taas ng singil niya. OUCH! Bye Bye Perfect Wedding dream! T_T *sigh* See you in another lifetime...
Anyway... I think my fever has probably gone up more than the usual again or maybe naoverdose lang ako finally ng paracetamol, but I'm feeling kinda weird right now...medyo high ba... something between I don't really feel good but neither do I feel that bad... Yep, this is definitely the drugs working. (By drugs I mean medicine as in paracetamol, OK?!) I'm not THAT stupid to take on the real one. LOL!
My friends (those few of them) are probably busy, at work or kung saan mang lupalop ng earth above. I have no intention of disturbing them, same thing as right now I really don't want to be disturbed. I now understand my husband's obsession on "time alone".
For one thing... ang una agad niyang binanggit is "Adios, "... what drugs did they give this guy?! Ang lakas ng amats mo, dude! I was like, HELLO?! Tis your last hours on earth, you're about to die and you're using it counting verses for a poem for your country?! Which is, by the way, the reason why you're there in jail. Those last hours could've been spent to write important personal letters to your wife...to your family. Ang tindi ng masochistic tendencies mo, Pepe!
It makes me wonder if it is really such a heady thing to be a hero, given na you're willing to give up your life for such a thing.
Hindi kita masakyan. Tama 'yung kaibigan kong si Mr. Tripster. Kung nagkataong may time machine, sasakay ako dun para lang itanong sa'yo habang buhay ka pa kung tama bang inalay mo ang buhay mo para sa Bayang Pilipinas. Is it really worth it, dying for your countrymen? Specially now, kung makikita mo kung ano ang nangyari sa bayang pinagpakamatayan mong palayain. Kung may time machine lang, isasama kita sa panahon ngayon for you to see for yourself if it was really worth it. Maybe you would've changed your mind.
But then again, maybe not. Or even if you didn't choose that path, someone else would've probably taken it. Mahirap sakyan ang takbo ng isip ng matatalino. Masyadong malawak ang nararating ng isip...in short, lumuluwag nang husto ang turnilyo. LOL! I'm kidding. Or maybe not, still... I'm too sick right now to even really care that much. Baka nga ipukpok ko pa sa ulo mo 'yung lampadang pinaglagyan mo ng tula mo. Ang dami mong arte sa buhay, eh! You could have had a nice simple life with that wonderful lady. You could have had a son. You would've had a family. Apparently, it wasn't enough.
But still, you're sort of like an immortal.Unlike us poor ordinary unknown souls, na walang ginawang very remarkable sa mundo, who will blissfully fade into oblivion in ten to twenty years time after death.
If this is the case, who wants to be immortal? Ahh, blessed blessed oblivion.
Yet, on one thing, I think I agree with you...
On the last words of the poem..."
May mga natitira ka namang ilang mga disciples. Kokonti, pero meron pa. I just thought you'd want to know.
Oh, I used to be one of them. I'm still undecided whether to continue or not. Naiba na kasi ang qualifications ngayon para maging bayani. Its not about sacrifice or dying for your country anymore.
Bayani ka na ngayon basta maging sikat or controversial ka sa gobyerno, kahit pa panay kabalbalan lang ang ginawa mo. Saksi dyan ang libingan ng mga bayani sa Fort Bonifacio.
Bayani ka na ngayon basta makakapagpasok ka ng yaman sa kaban ng bayan. Patunay dito ang mga OFWs at OCWs na inuuto ng gobyerno sa pamamagitan ng kantang "Bagong Bayani...", pero pinapatay naman sa tax, pahirapan sa pag-aayos ng mga documents at mga bastos na government workers na matindi ang sense of being talangka..(crab mentality)
Bayani ka na ngayon basta makapag-papicture ka when doing volunteer works, basta na-post 'yun sa facebook at madaming nag-comment to compliment you. Kahit ang totoo tumabi ka lang naman dun sa orihinal na may plano at tunay na malinis ang intensyon sa volunteer program.
Katulad ng ating sariling wika, the real meaning of this word is slowly but surely fading away into oblivion...
Sayang... Kayganda pa naman ng ating wika.
Isa ito sa mga pinaka-emosyonal at sincere na wika sa buong mundo. Patunay dito ang awit ni Freddie Aguilar na "ANAK", translated in so many languages around the world pero mararamdaman mo lang ang tunay na essence at mapapaluha ka talaga pag sa original tagalog mo narinig. The foreign translations don't even come close to giving justice to the real beauty of the song. Even the foreigners who have heard it thought so too.
To end this senseless, chaotic chatter, i-share ko lang ang pinakamagandang awit ni Freddie Aguilar na napakinggan ko. It's a sort of a sweet lullaby entitled "Awit ni Ina". The Filipino Language is like this. Sweet but melancholic...
A fading melody...
" ...Mga araw ay lumilipas na...ngunit di ang mga.....awit ni Ina...
....Hmmmm...yakap mo ba ba...ang melodiya...? Hmmmmm... "