March 19, 2011, Saturday afternoon.
Bilang isa sa mga volunteers sa consular outreach service ng Philippine Embassy ng Roma para sa pag-re-renew ng mga passports, as usual present na naman ako para tumulong, working like a slave just for the sake of public service, kahit wala ako mapapala kahit singkong duling, ika nga. Bukod pa sa sama ng loob kasi volunteer ka na nga lang, galit pa sa’yo ‘yung iba pag di mo napagbibigyan ‘yung kagustuhan nilang makapanlamang ng kapwa at mauna sa pila. Kadadating lang nila at kasa-submit ng mga dokumento eh gusto pang mauna. Galit pa sa’yo pag nagtatagal ang processing samantalang ang tanging kasalanan mo lang naman ay katangahan dahil pumunta ka pa nung araw na ‘yun kahit may mga tauhan namang binabayaran ng malaki ang gobyerno at nagpapasarap-buhay lang sa silya nila, taking life sweet and easy kasi nga may mga tanga naming volunteers na katulad namin. 
Well, ok na rin siguro kasi masarap naman sa pakiramdam ‘yung nakatulong ka sa mga iilang tao na talagang nangangailangan ng tulong at deserving na matulungan. Not to mention na pag medyo sinuswerte at napagkamalan akong kasama sa crew ng embassy eh may libre pa kong meryenda. LOL! 
Speaking of which, this is what happened na nakakatawa pero nakakainis, nakakainsulto at nakakasama rin ng loob. Although wala naman akong magagawa kundi magkibit-balikat na lang kasi…well…’yun lang kasi ang pwedeng gawin. Pinoy talaga…
Sa outreach pa lang mapapansin na ang di patas at di normal na pagtrato sa mga nandoon sa araw na ‘yun. I’m not talking about the applicants this time, that is yet another longer story.
This time I’m talking about the staff and what’s going on inside.
Yes, may libreng pameryenda sa staff ng embassy at volunteers ng consulate, pero kung volunteer ka eh bago ka pa maambunan ng mamemeryenda, sinusukat ka pa muna ng husto kung dapat ka nga bang abutan ng meryenda o hindi. Pag swerte ka at kakilala mo ‘yung nagdidistribute, bibigyan ka nila agad. Pag medyo minamalas malas ka, kunwari invisible ka at di ka nila makikita so ang aabutan lang nila ng pagkain eh ‘yung katabi mong staff ng embassy na sitting pretty at utos ng utos sa’yo kahit nakaupo lang siya at walang ginagawa pero may sweldo (di katulad mo) at sagot pa ng gobyerno ang hotel at pang-gastos. Pag talagang minamalas ka, magmumukha ka pang pulubi kasi maaawa sa’yo ‘yung staff ng embassy at ipanghihingi ka ng meryenda.
Letseng buhay ‘to, wala ka na ngang sweldo, wala ka pang pride. Kahit tuloy masarap sana ‘yung nagmamantika at medyo sunog na libreng sagimis eh naglalasang papel dahil masama sa loob kainin.
Wala naman ako actually masyado pakialam kung may sweldo o wala eh. Kaya nga ako pumapayag na maging volunteer eh gusto ko ‘yung trabaho at masarap makatulong sa kapwa. Siguro iniisip ng iba na katulad ng mga usual super epals doon eh may hidden agenda ako, like a chance to get noticed and get a job at the embassy. Sorry to disappoint but I threw away that dream a long time ago. Mula noong magkaroon ako ng “illumination” about the facts of life…some trash about You can’t have everything in life. Ok, fine. Since that was the case, I needed to prioritize and unfortunately career is not on my top list. So bye bye embassy dream. Maybe in another lifetime I will be a half-crazed career oriented all-I-care-about-is-my-job-bitch, but not now… and this is yet another story to be told some other time.
As I was saying, I really don’t care about the money. Maybe that’s the reason why “the money” doesn’t care back and I’m always broke. LOL!
Yeah, I really don’t care kung may bayad o wala. Ang ipinagpuputok ng butsi ko eh ‘yung trato na natatanggap ng mga tangang volunteers na katulad ko. Of course, I’m only speaking for myself, wala akong pakialam sa issues ng iba, kung meron man sila.
Volunteer lang ako pero nagtatrabaho din ako. Kahit dapat pahinga ako ng araw na ‘yun, present ako at nagtatrabaho katulad ng mga staff ng embassy with the difference of them getting paid and treated like some sort of gods by the usual bunch of bloodsuckers present. Kung kasing-guwapo sana sila ni Edward Cullen ng twilight, ok na rin…di bale nang sumipsip sila nang sumipsip. But man, they’re ugly as…oh never mind. Anyway, I guess what I really wanted is a bit more respect and appreciation, seeing as how I literally work my ass off.
‘Yung bukal sa loob na pag-aabot ng meryenda would be even nicer. ‘Yun na nga lang ang pinakabayad eh ipagkakait pa. Saka sana naman hindi ‘yung iaabot sa’yo ‘yung meryenda pagkatapos kang ituring na invisible being (plus iaabot lang sa’yo dahil ipinamalimos ka nung staff ng embassy). Bukod sa nawawala ‘yung lasa nung meryenda dahil sa sama ng loob, nakakasakit pa ng tiyan kasi masama rin loob nung nagbigay sa’yo ng pagkain. What the hell!
One last thing before this becomes too long. This lament fest is taking too long already.
Kinagabihan, may birthday party kaming pinuntahan kung saan invited rin ang staff ng embassy. As it happened, katabi nung table ng pamilya ko ang ibinigay na table sa embassy staff. Pareho lang namin na halos kadadating lang and they started serving us appetizers.
Probably having seen me during the outreach program, may naglagay agad ng isang platong puno ng pizza at bruschetta sa lamesa naming pamilya. The woman smiled at me and I smiled back, thinking "Wow, finally they appreciate my help."
Of course I was wrong. To make the long story short, ayun. Nung nakitang naupo sa lamesa ang mga magulang ko, and when they realized na hindi kami parte ng embassy staff, they took the plate of pizza back without hesitation before I could even say “wait”, leaving me with my grumbling stomach and equally grumbling soul.
Ouch. Ganon ba talaga ‘yun? Didn’t I do the same job, albeit without the ID marked PHILIPPINE EMBASSY OF ROME STAFF? Didn’t I spend a day of my life to help out, a day I could have used to relax but instead spent like a slave with no pay at puno pa ng sama ng loob?
F**k. That would be a day in my life I would never get back. Or maybe I’m just tired. Maybe it’s just stress and depression talking.
Siguro naiisip ng nagbabasa nito, reklamo ka ng reklamo kadali ng solusyon, eh di ‘wag kang magpunta.
Well, in fact, I did just that.
Because today, March 20, 2011, Sunday, despite the fact na meron ulit maghapon na outreach program, I decided not to go. Sabi ko nga sa asawa ko, kapag nagbago ang isip ko at gusto kong pumunta, utusan mo ko...abuse your power as my husband and order me not to go. I needed a break.
So today I’m not a stupid volunteer getting tired and feeling insulted.
Today I’m at home, sitting comfortably on my bed with a laptop writing my heart out.
Today I’m not wasting my life but enjoying it.
I only wish I'd stop feeling a teeny bit sorry that I didn’t go.
2 comments:
Finally makakapag comment na rin...
When i first read this i said to myself, "Finally they found the missing part of the scroll of the Book of Lamentations". Then i realized, Oh it's only Ms. Blue Bird!
Nako Ms. Blue Bird, i wish Ninoy and Rizal were alive so you could've asked them, "Is the Filipino worth dying for?"
Looking at this myriad of dim-wits and dumb-ass posers, you would've thought, of all the people who were killed by bombs and bullets why not these people?!
But of course, that's the Evil Charles who is ranting...
Now comes Mr. Tripster (who is a real badass with a touch of humanity, hahaha)...
Social radicals are never whiners. They bleed, they are wounded, hurt, humiliated, they may have complained for a moment in their life. that is normal. It's human nature. But nevertheless, they offered their lives because of their passion and unconditional love for these idiots whom we now call with the loosely used term "people".
Rizal, Ninoy, Gabriela Silang, Mabini, and even Jesus Christ- these are people who tried to uplift the morals and the status of men and women of their time and delivered them from evil and tyranny. They were considered losers in their time, but still their lives continue to inspire many to move on and help others, UNCONDITIONALLY.
A volunteer must learn the art of loving other unconditionally. but like what the Bible says, be wise as serpents and pure as doves.
I've had my share too. NAKO KILALA KO PA ANG MGA EPAL NA 'YAN. Yung mga abusado sa kapangyarihan tapos kami daw ang "troppo potere" (ganun ang tawag nila sa disiplinado at mga taong masusing sumusunod sa patakaran at batas). Mga kutong-lupang hangal na nagdadamit hari at prinsesita pero mga pawang nakaupo lamang hindi sa trono kundi sa tasa!
Masakit at mahirap kalimutan kasi wala ka naman hinahanap na kapalit kundi ang makatulong at maging maayos ang pamayanan. Di bale na magkainitan ng ulo, napapalipas din yun. Pero ang dumihan ang pangalan mo dahil sa kanilang kamangmangan at kababawan, NO WAY!
PAHABOL: Comment yung una ha, hindi bagong post sa blog...
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